Yup, no joke, because actually the Bila is really getting married soon!!! At November 27th at 10AM to be more precisely *is kinda excited*
Took us kinda long, since me and my boyfriend were talking about that as well as planning since last year ( OMG! We’re such slowmos *lmao* ), but finally we had all the needed documents together and got ourselves a date at the registry office yesterday. So now it’s only 24 days until I’m married ^^ Woot, for another big step in my life! It will be only a registry office wedding, but I’m still excited and I also dunno what to wear, since I always think I look so ugly XD Also I’m a bit nervous as well as stressed, since now we have to direct so many things, mostly with different insurances, so right now I’m sitting here with lots of documents behind me at the table *lmao* But everyone else just said that it would be time, since I’m now together with my boyfriend for over 7 years and we also live together since a few years ^^ And now we’re getting married, so I think it’s congratulations for us!!! ^.^
Just wanted to tell and share those good news with you here, since I also needed a new journal as well XD So wheee, for getting married!!!


And now on to some advertisement for my buddy and her commissions, since she could really need a few bucks ^.^ So uhm yeah, please take a look at her journal here [link] as well as at her page [link] and art, since she really could need some more attention as well as some commissions!!! She even lowered her prices and she can also draw mostly anything ( not only fan art XD ) and I think her art is really worth it, because I just love her skills and mostly all the work she does So if you have a few bucks left or if you know someone, who would like to have a commission, take a look at her journal and page or even show others, since it would really help her out and she also deserves it!!! And soon it’s also X-Mas, so you could do something good to her ^.^ And maybe a little sketch commission would be a great gift for a good friend, since everyone just loves gift art!!! So at least take some time to check her journal and stuff and it would be also great, if you could advertise her, if you know someone, who wants a commission, because sadly she hasn’t that much views/attention like she needed!!! And also thank you for taking the time and reading my advertisement here!!! And now some samples of her art, which hopefully would persuade you to commission her XD


<<< amazing details and line work, as well as stunning motive ^^
<<< another stunning line work of her ^.^
<<< she also rocks at cartoon/disney stuff as well as with details XD
<<< she can also draw all kinds of different animals, even in realistic style
<<< my commission of Mizzie ^^ Super amazing and well painted!
<<< second part of ma commission to show that she can also draw all kind of felines and similar stuff *lmao* AND
<<< she can also draw Chibis and everyone just luvs Chibis ^_^


Hope that this little advertisement caught your eye, since I really want to help my best friend out, since Aki’s always there for me and also helped me out a lot, so I guess it’s now my time to help her out again and you could help as well!!! Would make us so happy and we also would be forever grateful!!!


Okay, have to contact that guy from the insurance now, so I‘m off!!! See ya later guys!!! s and s you all <<< is in a good mood today




Trade/Request slots:
Requests: CLOSED FOREVER!!!
Trades: Only, if I ask for a trade! Might be opened somewhere in the future, but I dunno...



Requests/Surprises I'm working on: ( surprises are currently off my list, so that I can finish requests and other stuff... But don't worry, there will be always some surprises, when I'm in the mood to do some ^_^ )


- Request for - not started yet 0% done
- Request for - sketched out 20% done


Character Trades/Requests:

none atm



My clubs:

I’m terribly slow with things at the moment, because I lack motivation to do anything, but I still wanna say THANK YOU to you guys here!!! ^_^
First a big THANK YOU to the guys, who helped me out with awesome tips, suggestions and also pictures for my character Miyuki, for which I was searching some help in my last journal! All your ideas had been awesome and I never thought that I would get so many good ideas/suggestions XD It really helped me out a lot and hopefully I can finish her picture somewhere in the future ( I just lack motivation working on her atm, because I need to change and fix her lineart a bit, since some things are bugging me )
Then also a very, very big THANK YOU for all the nice and sweet birthday wishes as well as presents and giftart I received from some good friends on my birthday, which was on August 17th ^_^ Thank you guys!!!
I was happy about every b-day wish I got as well as about the giftart and presents, even if I wasn’t expecting that XD You rock people!!! *snuggles*
Also a big separate THANK YOU to , who did me that awesome and very beautiful picture of my chara Mizuria:

I really enjoy getting pictures of Mizzie and that picture is such a beautiful as well as amazing looking one!!! So you should go and also check her other art out, because is such an amazing artist and also a very nice person, so I think she deserves some more comments, watchers, favs, views etc. since her art and her pictures are totally cool as well as amazing ^_^
And woot, also THANK YOU to my buddy , who did me that super cute as well as romantic picture of my feline gods as prize for winning her contest:

I really love that picture, because it’s so sweet as well as detailed looking and I really adore ’s real media skills!!! So if you also have some time go and check her gallery out as well, because she has also some super stunning art as well as very pretty and interesting characters ^_^
And also a new and very big THANK YOU to , who send me that nice b-day card with a hand drawn picture of Mizzie in it Was so happy, when I got it, because that was such a nice and sweet idea and Mizzie turned out so totally beautiful!!! One of the best b-day cards I ever got ^_^ So also go and checkt out Shungi's Gallery, because she's such a sweet and kind person and she has some great art and drawing skills as well!!! ^^
Oh my!!! I totally forgot to say THANK YOU to for sending me those super awesome gifts!!! Really luv the Naruto book and that PKMN key chain is so adorably cute ^_^ And also thanks for the extra figure of Sai!!! He really looks cool as well as adoarble So thanks, buddy and I hope that my letter arrived, since you have no PC atm...
And also a big THANK YOU to my awesome buddy !!! Go and check her out, because her art and characters are so totally amazing!!! She was so kind and did me that super awesome picture of Mizuria in her Twilight Goddess form, which I absolutely love and adore: [link]
So thanks again for that beautiful picture!!! I really love it ^_^

Just wanted to say that XD Okay, I’m off to read my mails now… See ya laters, guys and THANK YOU again!!! ^_^




Trade/Request slots:
Requests: CLOSED FOREVER!!!
Trades: Only, if I ask for a trade! Might be opened somewhere in the future, but I dunno...



Requests/Surprises I'm working on: ( surprises are currently off my list, so that I can finish requests and other stuff... But don't worry, there will be always some surprises, when I'm in the mood to do some ^_^ ) ON HOLD ATM

- Trade with - FINISHED!!! 100% done
- Trade with - FINISHED!!! 100% done
- B-Day Surprise for - FINISHED AND SENT OUT!!! 100% done
- Request for - not started yet 0% done
- Request for - sketched out 20% done


Character Trades/Requests:

none atm




My projects ( stuff I'm working on atm; nothing too interesting ):

- Naruto RPG with my boyfriend ( The crazyness atm!!! Just gotta luv the Ryoji *cuddles him* )
- new Story thingy "War of the Gods" - writing at chapter 3 now ^.^




My clubs:

...but this time not for myself, since I’m feeling fine and happy at the moment, after having several talks, a nice relaxing weekend as well as a little break from the internet and drawing ^_^ No, this time I need some help with a drawing, since I have some problems to find the right colors for one of my characters and somehow my boyfriend was also not such a great help, so I ask you guys here and I hope you can help me out a bit with some comments and suggestions
See, I have that new Naruto OC of mine named Miyuki Shizuka and since I was bored I started to ink her sketch as well as coloring her, but since I’m a bit brain dead atm I somehow didn’t found some nice colors for her... Especially her hair color is bugging me atm, since I don’t find something nice, which seems to fit to her, even if I have three different color examples atm So I hope you guys can help me out *crosses fingers* That’s what I have so far:

Miyuki 1 ( brown hair ): [link] <<< fav of my boyfriend
Miyuki 2 ( silver hair ): [link] <<< not sure about that
Miyuki 3 ( silver bluish hair ): [link] <<< my fav so far ^.^

So would be nice to hear your opinions about those three so far ^^ Also some infos, which might help you to decide or to give other suggestions:

- Miyuki is a snow shinobi, coming from Yukigakure, the village hidden in the snow
- She should look beautiful as well as elegant
- She’s blind and a seer/shaman ( that’s why her eyes look so scary can’t draw blind eyes somehow >.< )
- She has the spirit of a 7-tailed Kitsune ( fox demon ) sealed inside her

Hmmm, can’t think of more so far Kinda hot here to think properly *lmao* Anyways, would be nice to know what you think, because that would help me a lot to complete her image Also, if you have other suggestions for her hair color or even for her clothes ( somehow most of my charas have blue or black clothes, since I can’t think of something different, so some ideas/opinions would also be great ^.^ ) tell me or better show me ( feel free to draw on those pics or show me else XD )!!! I really need some opinions as well as suggestions XD Also a little help with some ideas for the background would also be nice, sine I don’t like that BG here so far, but also have no better ideas for one So give me your thoughts, even if you say that’s something boring or stupid, but I would really appreciate some help, so comment guys, comment!!! XD ^_^
Well, have to do my sports now and afterwards I wanna work on my Cosmic Sailor Saturn sketch, so see ya laters guys ( I wanna read lots of comments with your suggestions, critique, whatever… when I’m back ) *runs off now*




Trade/Request slots:
Requests: CLOSED FOREVER!!!
Trades: Only, if I ask for a trade! Might be opened somewhere in the future, but I dunno...



Requests/Surprises I'm working on: ( surprises are currently off my list, so that I can finish requests and other stuff... But don't worry, there will be always some surprises, when I'm in the mood to do some ^_^ )


- Request for - not started yet 0% done
- Request for - sketched out 20% done


Birthday Picture(s) for July:

- b-day pic for - finished since Tuesday 100% done

Character Trades/Requests:

none atm




My projects ( stuff I'm working on atm; nothing too interesting ):

- Naruto RPG with my boyfriend ( The crazyness atm!!! Just gotta luv the Ryoji *cuddles him* )
- new Story thingy "War of the Gods" - writing at chapter 3 now ^.^




My clubs:

Mood: Miserable and not tired, since I can't change that right now >.<

Edit: Thanks a lot for all those comforting words, for all the hugs, for all the helpful advice as well as for the understanding!!!
I'm feeling a lot better now after taking a break from the net as well as from drawing over the WE... Was just cleaning the flat and afterwards I just slept most of the time, whilst my boyfriend was caring for me as well as cheering me up, so that I wouldn't do some stupid things again ( Thanks a lot for our crazy RP, sweetheart!!! Just love writting it with you ^_^ ) Now I'm still not in drawing mood again, so I think I will take a longer break then and just do some other things instead, like writting on my stories or playing online games XD But at least I also got my car fixed, so that the police won't need to knock at the window again, when you're waiting at a red traffic light and scare you to death *lmao* Just wanted to let you know, people and thanks again for all your support!!! You guys really rock!!!


I’m a failure, a disappointment, a wimp, a mental wreck and whatever! And don’t say that’s not true, because it is!!! Seems like my mental problems aren’t gone so far, because I’m having some annoying mood swings and some depressive feelings/thoughts again… *sighs*
Anyways, now to the point why I write that journal here: Since I’m such a failure and wimp I decided to delete my commission journal as well as never doing any commission again, since I realized and found out that I’m not the type for it. You might say I haven’t tried, but that’s not right, since was interested in a commission from me… So today, after getting the information I needed, I answered her that I would have an idea in my mind and that I would go to sketch it out… I really had a great idea, but when I sat down and started to sketch my mind turned completely blanc and I couldn’t even draw a single circle *sighs* I tried and tried the whole afternoon, but nothing came out and if something came out it was total crap and not worth for getting paid for… I got so frustrated and annoyed by myself that I just couldn’t draw something for someone else when needed, so I started throwing things around, crying, hurting myself a bit and now I feel so miserable and down, because I always lose my creativity when I have to draw something for someone else And since this makes me feeling so down I decided that it would be better, if I won’t do such a thing again, so it’s better that I don’t draw commissions just surprises and stuff, since it seems like I’m not a good artist for doing commissions, since I haven’t such a great creativity like others and I also loose my temper too easy, when I can’t draw what others want from me *sighs* I’m so strange
I know that this is such a stupid and worse gesture from me, since I act like a little child, and I know that this is also so very, very unfair for since I first said yes and then only an afternoon later I say no, because I’m down with my nerves, sitting here crying and shivering, whilst writing this crap here, but I hope you will understand!!! Really, my dearest apology to for just letting you down, but I hope you will understand me a tiny bit, at least I hope so…
That’s all such a worse person like me has to say now, so bye my buddies and see ya laters, when I have finally calmed down again… That commission idea was not such a great one I think…
*wants to curl up somewhere now and die because of shame for that failure and disappointment I’m in others eyes now*





Trade/Request slots:
Requests: CLOSED FOREVER!!!
Trades: Only, if I ask for a trade! Might be opened somewhere in the future, but I dunno...



Requests/Surprises I'm working on: ( surprises are currently off my list, so that I can finish requests and other stuff... But don't worry, there will be always some surprises, when I'm in the mood to do some ^_^ )


- Request for - not started yet 0% done
- Request for - sketched out 20% done


Character Trades/Requests:

none atm




My projects ( stuff I'm working on atm; nothing too interesting ):

- Naruto RPG with my boyfriend ( The crazyness atm!!! Just gotta luv the Ryoji *cuddles him* )
- new Story thingy "War of the Gods" - writing at chapter 3 now ^.^




My clubs:

Finally a sign of life from me! Wanted to write that kind of journal here since a whole time, but never found some time, since I was kinda busy as well as stressed But now I took some time to finally write that journal down, because there’s also something important, but first on to the boring ramblings of my boring life and stuff… XD
Well, those mental problems and that strange headache I told you about in my last journal had disappeared after some time as well as some talks with some persons and so far it hadn’t come back, so I’m back to my normal crazy self again and that since a whole time now. Was really glad about that, because now I feel much better and even if stuff annoys me I hardly get angry or aggressive about that. Instead I’m listening to loud music as well as doing some of my fav things and stuff, so it seems like those mental problems were just an annoying phase of my life, which luckily is over now. Therefore I had some relationship problems with my boyfriend, because we just had been stressed out about so many things, especially about our car, which had to get repaired… Was also not that nice, but I think we slowly can solve all those problems as well as forget the things, which happened, since now the car is repaired and we finally had it back ( two weeks without a car is kinda complicated at times as well as stressful… ) Now we just need to pay that bill for it somehow *sighs* Stupid bills suck!!! XD
Then also my fav and beloved boots got damaged and I finally needed some new shoes… Poor boots had them for 3 or 4 years and just luved them soooooo much… So yesterday we got to town to buy me some new shoes, which is also always so frustrating, because all the shoes I like I never get in my size, because I have such weird feet XD But finally we found some nice looking as well as also fitting ones, which I also could wear on the communion of my godchild, which is next weekend, so I was kinda happy, even if those shoes also cost me 25€ ( all the cheaper ones looked to bright or they hadn’t them in my size ) So yay, new shoes for Bila!!!

Okay, now on to the more important part:
I have a very good friend ( she’s one of my best friends I don’t wanna miss anymore ), who sadly is in a worse financial situation atm, so she decided to open commissions and since she’s such a great friend, who always helped me out and who also made me such awesome presents, even if she was short on money, I’m going to make some advertisement for her, so that she could earn some money. Would be really great, if some people could support her now in her time of need, because she’s a really great person, who had a kinda hard life and now needs some help! I really think her drawing style is amazing and she also has a very unique style as well, so commissioning her would really help her, if you have some money left, since her prices are also acceptable for her amazing work. So if you’re interested here’s a link to her journal: [link]
Please help her if you can, because that would be very nice from you! And btw, I’m also going to commission her from my last saved up money I actually had saved up for the new Pokémon Platinum game, which will come out here next Friday, but I think helping a very close friend is much more important than buying a game!!! So thank you for reading ^_^

Well, have to go and work on some pictures again, because atm I’m just drawing, drawing and drawing, because I need to finish three pictures till the end of May, so go me!!! See ya all and please help my friend Aki out!!! <33





Trade/Request slots:
Character Commissions: OPEN [link]
Requests: CLOSED FOREVER!!!
Trades: Only, if I ask for a trade! Might be opened somewhere in the future, but I dunno...



Requests/Surprises I'm working on: ( surprises are currently off my list, so that I can finish requests and other stuff... But don't worry, there will be always some surprises, when I'm in the mood to do some ^_^ )


- Request for - not started yet 0% done
- Request for - sketched out 20% done


B-Day Pictures for May:
- B-day Piccie ( new Chara ) for - finished 100% done
- B-day Piccie for - finished 100% done
- B-day Piccie for - finished 100% done



Character Commissions/Trades/Requests:

none atm




My projects ( stuff I'm working on atm; nothing too interesting ):

- Naruto RPG with my boyfriend ( The crazyness atm!!! Just gotta luv the Ryoji *cuddles him* )
- new Story thingy "War of the Gods" - writing at chapter 3 now ^.^




My clubs: